PanDora's Box

Where is my mind?

Theme by: iamadek

I’ve been dealing with a lot of stuff which has led me to bottle it all up like I always do, 

Sometimes I worry about myself because my suicidal thoughts are just getting more intense. 

I don’t know what to do anymore because.. 

I have the motivation to stay alive but deep down inside I feel that if I did these thoughts would die…

No

I wasn’t raped 

I was molested

        You were what?

I was molested

        Why?

Because.. 

        Why..

God doesn’t love us you know

        What makes you think that?

What makes you question my thoughts?

         …answer the fucking question

If God loved us, he wouldn’t have made us

            That makes no sense. 

Let me rephrase this, if God loved me he wouldn’t have created you

              …shutup

It’s true

               You don’t know the fucking truth. 

Does that mean you do?

                I know your the one who can’t accept it

Accept what?

                 Rape

I wasn’t raped

I was molested

                 You were raped

No.

                  She touched you

No

                  She kissed you

no    

                  She put her fingers inside of you

…no

                   She raped you. You let it happen, it’s all your fault. 

                   And now your withering away..

                   You can’t take the memories

                   Because you didn’t want it

                   But she made me want it

                   She made me need it

                   She created me

                   You hated me

                   Because she raped you

                   And in return I raped you

                   over and over and over

                   My yearnings for more made you sick

                   To the point where you made me hardly exist

                   All because you were raped

no..

I wasn’t raped

I was molested 

I’ve been having really bad writers block lately. Ihate writers block so much. It reminds me of when I was on anti depressants and I knew I was sad but I couldn’t feel it. Like a have poetry and short story ideas yearning to come out but something is blocking them and they are getting clogged up…

Part two: December 26, 2010
Title: A trilogy isn’t the same without a sequel.
*Excuse my horrid grammar. I was in high school when I wrote these. My style of writing has improved since then. Or at least I hope so*

Part two: December 26, 2010
Title: A trilogy isn’t the same without a sequel.

*Excuse my horrid grammar. I was in high school when I wrote these. My style of writing has improved since then. Or at least I hope so*

December 25, 2010
Title: A poem that makes no sense is better than no poem at all

December 25, 2010
Title: A poem that makes no sense is better than no poem at all

How to talk to your daughter about her body, step one: don’t talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works.

Don’t say anything if she’s lost weight. Don’t say anything if she’s gained weight.

If you think your daughter’s body looks amazing, don’t say that. Here are some things you can say instead:

“You look so healthy!” is a great one.

Or how about, “you’re looking so strong.”

“I can see how happy you are – you’re glowing.”

Better yet, compliment her on something that has nothing to do with her body.

Don’t comment on other women’s bodies either. Nope. Not a single comment, not a nice one or a mean one.

Teach her about kindness towards others, but also kindness towards yourself.

Don’t you dare talk about how much you hate your body in front of your daughter, or talk about your new diet. In fact, don’t go on a diet in front of your daughter. Buy healthy food. Cook healthy meals. But don’t say “I’m not eating carbs right now.” Your daughter should never think that carbs are evil, because shame over what you eat only leads to shame about yourself.

Encourage your daughter to run because it makes her feel less stressed. Encourage your daughter to climb mountains because there is nowhere better to explore your spirituality than the peak of the universe. Encourage your daughter to surf, or rock climb, or mountain bike because it scares her and that’s a good thing sometimes.

Help your daughter love soccer or rowing or hockey because sports make her a better leader and a more confident woman. Explain that no matter how old you get, you’ll never stop needing good teamwork. Never make her play a sport she isn’t absolutely in love with.

Prove to your daughter that women don’t need men to move their furniture.

Teach your daughter how to cook kale.

Teach your daughter how to bake chocolate cake made with six sticks of butter.

Pass on your own mom’s recipe for Christmas morning coffee cake. Pass on your love of being outside.

Maybe you and your daughter both have thick thighs or wide ribcages. It’s easy to hate these non-size zero body parts. Don’t. Tell your daughter that with her legs she can run a marathon if she wants to, and her ribcage is nothing but a carrying case for strong lungs. She can scream and she can sing and she can lift up the world, if she wants.

Remind your daughter that the best thing she can do with her body is to use it to mobilize her beautiful soul.

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